Saturday, January 21, 2012

Reaper Finally Captured in Wisconsin

Milwaukee, WI - ATF officials apprehended six week old Princess Snuggles, more commonly known as "The Reaper," early this morning after a two week manhunt originating in Tennessee. Officials finally cornered the fugitive in a warehouse in Milwaukee as she tried to clear out a storage unit containing fully automatic rifles and close to $30,000 in cash. Bulletin reporters were fortunate enough to be present at the scene of the arrest.


 Snuggles has been under surveillance since escaping the womb. Originally wanted for the sale of explosives on the black market, Snuggles quickly progressed in her life of crime. Involvement with several gangs led her to add arson and murder to her criminal enterprise skill set. ATF has not yet revealed the official list of charges.

"There was a time when we suspected The Reaper had started dabbling in the drug trade as well, but our intel seems to have been mistaken. When we captured Ms. Snuggles, the only substance she had on her being was a small bag of cat nip. We imagine she used it to calm her nerves during her time on the LAM," stated Agent Nicholas Mullins.  

Snuggles is currently being held in Milwaukee's South House of Correction as she awaits extradition. Citizens nationwide are relieved that such a dangerous criminal mastermind has been removed from population.

1 comment: